How Nanny Sharing Works
Nanny sharing is a situation where two or more parents use one nanny to care for their children and then split the cost between them. The nanny will hence split her time and attention to care for all the children under her care.
Nanny sharing can happen between as little as 2 families or even more than 3 families. However having more than 5 kids under nanny sharing may tend to be less effective. It is therefore recommended to keep the number of kids under 5, especially if they are infants and toddlers.
While the care and other specifics may change, the basics of nanny pooling still apply. It offers a practical ,convenient ,cheaper and improved quality care in comparison with a daycare, which are just some of the benefits. However there are drawbacks involved such as getting families to nanny share, drafting an agreement for all families etc.
Benefits of Nanny Sharing
- Affordable- Because you are all sharing a nanny, you also share the cost making it affordable
- Growth & Development of Kids- Since you are sharing a nanny with kids around the same age, they all benefit from socializing, playing and learning together.
- Form Mom Friends- You will find it easier to share a nanny with families you have same parenting values and approaches. When you do you are creating good family friends and also expanding mom friends for moral support.
- Flexibility & Convenience- when your child is under a nanny but in a different home it allows you a lot of flexibility to undertake a lot of personal errands as work from home without the interference.
- Health &* Safety- Under nanny share, you child is exposed to a lesser amount of bugs and sicknesses in comparison to a daycare.
- Quality of care- Your child will receive better quality of care because a nanny share is keeping the adequate ratio. One nanny can only care for up to 5 kids while in daycare the ratio my be higher reducing the quality of care your child is receiving. While the care may be unequal for the kids, there are no neglect issues if right ratio is observed.
Nanny Sharing vs Daycare on Cost
Sharing a nanny with other families is cheaper than other child care options such as daycare. However this is dependent on several factors such as;
- Location. Your location determines the average cost of daycare or nanny. If the cost of a nanny is so high compared to the cost of daycare then, even splitting it among the moms of about 2 or 3 families does not make it cheaper than the cost of daycare.
- On the other hand if the cost of nanny and daycare are almost the same such that when nanny cost is shared by two or more moms, it would be cheaper than the average cost of enrolling under daycare.
- Number of Sharing Families. Nanny sharing is cheaper than daycare if the number of sharing moms is high. Nanny costs split between four moms would be cheaper than one split between two moms. While the quality of care is affected when there are multiple sharing moms, the same cannot be compared to the ratio at daycare.
Read: Why to Choose a Nanny over Daycare for your Infant/Toddler
Disadvantages & Reasons to Avoid Nanny Sharing
There are many challenges and issues you may face when you enroll your child under nanny sharing such as;
1. Children get Divided Care
The kids under nanny sharing does not get personalized care such as in a hired single care nanny. It is one of the main reasons some moms avoid nanny sharing because their children may get neglected when there are too may kids to care for. A nanny share of over 5 kids usually have this challenge.
Some moms argue that kids are neglected when under nanny share. It is very possible for a nanny to fail offer same level of care and attention to all kids equally. At some points some kids may be neglected especially where are infants require intense attention or the nanny share involves over 5 kids.
2. Leads to a Crash/Conflicts of Roles
Families that are involved in the nanny share may crash over roles. Under nanny sharing, it is hard to reach one agreement because different parents want different things. It is especially so when there are more than 3 families included in the nanny sharing.
Read: How to Set Professional Boundaries with your Nanny
3. Disagreements over Care Model
A nanny share brings together a variety of parents and families who uses different parenting methods. This itself is a major disadvantages of a nanny share because it is difficult to find an approach that all are comfortable in.
In a nanny share with 3+ families, it is hard finding a family that fits one’s current parenting and family’s style. It is for this reasons that nanny sharing is negatively reviewed and discouraged by moms.
4. Inconsistent and Vulnerable to Changes
Because of dealing with many families and parents, the care with a nanny share is highly prone to inconsistency. A change in one parent situation may change the nanny sharing contract. It may make it hard finding a replacement family and hence inconvenience the other moms in the nanny sharing.
Read: How to Keep your Nanny for Long
7 Rules for Effective Nanny Sharing with 3+ Families
Rule 1. Always Set out Specifics before Starting
One of the important rules to make your nanny share effective is being candid about everything from the start. You need to sit down between you the parents of the 3 or more families involved and the nanny to decide on key specifics of how care will be delivered in order to make it a success.
Doing so will eliminate any surprises and make nanny sharing possible. There are so many things and issues to decide about nanny sharing that will make a nanny share an effective childcare option for you. Some of the things you need to decide before starting the nanny share includes;
- Will you need to pay for nanny for off days due to illness? You may decide to pay because the nanny deserves this but you need a replacement for these days as well. Decide as a group how you will approach nanny sick off days.
- When one child stays home for sickness, will the other families still pay the full cost for that day? Agree on this before you start on a nanny share. It is important that you even when your child is absent just as you would in a daycare. It assures you of your slot as well as avoid inconvenience the other parents and the nanny on matters cost.
- How do you decide on the nanny rate? Is it half per pay rate? 2/3 of normal full rate? The best way to approach this is decide the average rate that the nanny should be paid. Once this has been agreed on, you can decide to split this among the moms. If one moms than 2 or more kids , you may to agree the payment to be per child and not per mom.
- How often will the nanny be paid? Through which means will she be paid? Very important for any nanny share arrangement. If you are engaging the nanny on full time, then an reasonable thing would be to pay her on a monthly basis. However is she is only caring for the kids on certain or certain hours only, then it would be reasonable to have daily or weekly payments.
- How long will this arrangement last? What happens when one family changes its childcare needs? Have this in writing for your nanny share. Normally is one family changes childcare, the remaining may also to change, find an alternative mom or simply pay up the cost. Therefore to avoid inconveniencing other moms, you should agree on a minimum notice period to need so that the remaining parents can make others plans. If not the exiting mom should in the minimum pay the defaulted notice period.
- Where will the care be? Whose house will the kids be in? Is there an option to go to the other family’s house? Do they need to bring their food? Normally it would be easier for the nanny, and the kids if care was based on a specific place. When a specific mom is hosting the nanny sharing, there is a consistency and convenience involved. On the other hand you may decide to alternate it among yourself. As a result each family gets to enjoy the convenience. You can make the switch from one family to another on a weekly, bi-weekly or monthly basis. This way there will not be too much confusion from the switches.
- Are the kids the same age? Does one family need more hours than the other? How will napping be arranged? Ideally, the most effective nanny sharing is when the kids are around the same kids. It makes caring for them easier, as well allowing them to play and do same age activities. Nonetheless if your nanny sharing groups have kids around different ages, the older one will need more intensive and longer care. You may hence to agree on a normal time range, after which any child requiring longer care will pay separately as per hour.
- If one family adds another baby to the mix how will you work that out? It is only fare to have the cost divide per child and not per family as one mom may have 2 or more kids in the group. In this case if a family adds one more baby to the group, you need to re-calculate on per child basis and what the family will now pay for the nanny share.
- What are the nanny roles? What discipline strategies will be used? What types of communication will be used about progress? Decide on all this as you look for possible nanny shares. All the families will need to have a meeting and agree on what the nanny should and should not do, how she will discipline the kids and how she will share progress. Ideally nanny roles only surround caring for the kids and cleaning up after them.
Read: How to Set Professional Boundaries with your Nanny
2: Always Set Communication Guidelines
Communication on all things related to child care is KEY for effective nanny sharing. It is one the things you need to decide and agree on to make your nanny sharing arrangement work. Since the nanny will be handling more than one kid, you all need to decide on a standard form and way of communicating.
Also since parenting styles are different, it is critical that you all agree on how you will approach and expect communication between you as the parents and the nanny involved in nanny sharing. For instance, you can decide on doing group texting on a set time to address anything.
3: Never Task Nanny on any Housework
It is not the nanny’s job to do housework while she is doing nanny sharing. It is reasonable to ask for some amount of tidying (putting toys back in bins, cleaning bottles/dishes used by kids during the day etc. Have no expectations that the nanny would be doing cleaning or laundry.
Read: How to Set Healthy Nanny Expectations
4. Avoid Mixing Nannies: Get a Consistent & Reliable Nanny
Sharing a nanny is helpful for the kids, the nanny, and the working moms. The kids are happier and have other kids to play with. The nanny gets higher pay and the moms pays lesser for daycare. However, these benefits will dissipate if there is no consistency, especially in a nanny share with more than 3 families.
Therefore to make it effective it is critical to ensure consistency of a single caregiver to assure consistent care always. Therefore avoid mixing nannies where possible. By doing this, you will find that your nanny sharing with your group of families becomes effective.
5: Avoid Same Host for Nanny Shares
For several reasons, nannies and parents may prefer a single house for nanny sharing. These include ideality of location, adequacy of space, and other child resources among others. It can also be hard for a nanny to switch too often, especially when there are more than 3 families involved.
However, it is the benefit of all working moms involved to switch houses for nanny shares once in a while. Having that the kind of chaos of nanny sharing in the same house all the time can get on one’s nerves. This is especially so for moms who like things “their way”.
The nanny sharing is more effective as kids get different toys to play with and a change of scenery. Further, each working mom gets to benefit from the bit of housework the nanny does such as dishes, and kid’s laundry. The frequency of changing houses needs to be agreed on. It can be weekly or bi-monthly or monthly etc.
6. Always Share Nanny for Kids of the Same Age
What you should know before starting a nanny share is that its success is dependent on uniformity in the care needed. Look for families with kids around the same age as your child for effective nanny sharing. You will find that this approach makes it easy and convenient for all of you in the nanny share.
It is extremely hard and impractical to achieve effective nanny sharing when the kids differ in age. This is especially so if the nanny sharing arrangement includes more than three families. This means differences in needs, demands, play, and even nap time.
Such an arrangement can be overwhelming on the nanny and ineffective for the kids. A newborn that needs to sleep all the time and a hyperactive toddler running around at the same time cannot work.
7. Never Work on Assumptions: Legalize Nanny Share Agreement
An agreement is very necessary for nanny sharing. You all need a contract for EVERYONE’S involved in the nanny sharing i.e the families and the nanny. For the arrangement to be effective, everyone needs to be sure that all is covered in the contract in case something comes up later.
Some of necessary items to include in the agreement include;
- Nanny duties
- Agreed pay rate for the nanny
- Agree pay rate for each child/family
- Agree payment duration/period
- Other benefits and nanny’s costs
- Communication channels and timelines
- Expected work hours
- Host families and rotation schedule
- Paid time off, sick leave, holidays,
- What happen if one family exits the care
- Confidentiality agreement
- House rules if any
- Termination
When all is done in writing, the contract signed by all the families and the nanny will guide on how the case will be handled. This is especially so when one or two parties are not meeting part of the obligations towards the arrangement and then you can all go back and look at everything you agreed to.
Tips on Effective Nanny Sharing that Lasts Long
- Make a Google calendar, invite all the families to it, and keep it up to date. Keeping a common calendar is a great where all of you can see the events that have happened such as off days. It is important for accountability and makes it easier to track everything. It will keep your nanny sharing going on for long.
- Paying cash is cheaper and convenient for both parties- This tip saves you time in payroll generation, no taxes, etc. The ease ensures you can sustain the nanny share arrangement for long.
- It’s important that you as the working moms are clear on what is okay vs. not okay for addressing sickness among the children.
- All three parties need to have good, frequent, open communication. Try to coordinate long vacations (Thanksgiving, Christmas, spring/summer vacation) ahead of time for the convenience of everyone. Such traditions keep nanny sharing strong for years.
- Agree on nanny expectations for household chores. For instance, the nanny can do the kids dishes and occasionally cook for them. Such boundaries and reasonable expectations are important in sustaining a long term nanny sharing arrangement.
- Ensure that the houses the kids are using for nanny sharing have a safe and comfortable designated space for all to play and sleep in.
How to Choosing Good Kids/Families for Nanny Sharing
- While looking for nanny shares, form group shares with moms you have something in common e.g. live in the same neighborhood, are in the same social circle, kids the same age etc.
- Getting a good nanny willing to do nanny sharing effectively is critical. Not all of them are willing to take on the additional tasks. However others are excited because the pay rate is usually higher.
- You can find a good nanny willing to nanny share through referrals from trusted sources e.g. colleagues, local databases, local moms groups, etc. However you need to further run your background checks, call references, and ask to see transcripts /driving records/immunization records/etc.
- Start looking early. Just like daycare, you need to start booking early. The tip is to start the process at least two months before the slotted starting date to avoid inconveniences. You will sure find one in due time.
- Have a list of things to look for in a nanny share family. Ensure that you know what your child care needs are and how this can align with another family. It will help in eliminating potential nanny families and getting your ideal ones.
Read: How to Get Last Minute Nannies
Qualities of a Good Nanny Share Family/Kid
For a nanny share to be effective, especially in more than 3 families, you need to find perfect families for it. When looking into a nanny share, look for the following in the other families. They should meet the following criteria;
- Similar Parenting Approach. A good or perfect nanny share family is one that shares a similar parenting approach. If you don’t share the same outlook, then the nanny share may not work. It includes how you discipline, nap, feed etc
- Family Friends. You need to genuinely like the other families for the nanny share to work. Since you will be closely working together in matters child care, it will help if you are family friends with the other families. Your child(ren) need to get along with the other families children. The children will spend a lot of time together and its is important if they are able to get along.
- Child Age Range. Your children need to be of the same age with the other family. A nanny share become easy and effective when the children are of the same age. Therefore a perfect family need to be a family whose kids are of the same age with your children.
Read: How to Conduct a Nanny Trial
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