Finding quality, convenient and affordable childcare is one of the topmost challenges for working parents. It takes time and a lot of hassle to find a childcare arrangement that works for you in terms of affordability, quality, convenience, and reliability.
The most common form of childcare used by working moms is a daycare, nannies, and other home-based care arrangements. Others rely on close friends and family, especially the baby’s grandparents to help out with babysitting.
Having your parents helping out with childcare is a privilege most working moms don’t have. However, getting your parent to help with the childcare is not always automatic. You may feel awkward to ask and/or your parents may feel too intrusive to offer.
You can easily ask your parents to siblings to help baby sit your child by just asking directly, taking advantage when they offer, making childcare fun and discussing your childcare challenges with them.
How to Get Your Parent/Family Babysit your Child
1. Make a Direct Request For Help
The simplest way to have your parents look after their grandchild is by simply asking them. The answer will be a simple yes or no and it does not hurt to ask. Your parents may feel that you do not need the help and so if you do not directly ask them to help, they may never know you need them and hence may never offer to help out.
You just need to ask them to help baby and you can cite the challenges you are having in finding a suitable childcare arrangement. However, understand that directly asking your parents may pressure them into saying yes while they don’t want to. Many parents say yes when they are asked if they will babysit only for them to call out later.
Others are afraid of disappointing you and say yes to an arrangement they never wanted. Therefore encourage your parents to be open and honest. Let them know you shall not feel offended should they decline to offer you help.
Read :Reasons you should not Ask your Parents to help with Childcare
2.Take Advantage When your Parents/Family Offers To Help
You may be some of the lucky working moms whose parents need no asking. Some grandparents would jump at the very first opportunity to spend time with their grandchildren. For this reason, they are always offering to help babysit.
Most have a lot of time on their hands and would use some company to keep them busy and on their feet. If your family and parents are like this, jump in on the offer. It saves you the hassle of looking for alternative childcare options and your grandchild gets to spend time with people who love and adore them.
However, you need to be sure that this offer is genuine and reliable. Many parents may offer to help but are always flaking out at the last minute. Others may underestimate the demand of looking after babies and may quickly jump out on their offer, leaving you stranded. Others are only willing to do so on their terms such as hours and place. If this arrangement does not work for you, then consider having another childcare arrangement.
3.Make Childcare Appealing and Enticing
If your parents have not offered to help out and you do want to directly ask, you can try making baby-sitting appealing and enticing for them. Avoid making caring for the baby like an expectation on them and instead set up fun and play-dates for them.
Find and incorporate things your parents and your baby have an interest in to help in making memorable memories. Discuss with your parents if maybe they’re willing to take him out maybe once every couple of weeks and plan for around this time.
Sometimes this could be indoor or outdoor activities such as going to the zoo or going out for ice cream, an indoor playground, or a trampoline park. These activities should be more fun and feel less than baby watching which will make your parents want to do more of them. Gradually this will create a bond between them and their grandchild that they will naturally offer to take care of them.
Read: Reasons to Ask your Parents to Help with Childcare
4.Discuss your Childcare Challenges with your Parents
Your parents or family are a crucial element of your support system. They are a go-to when it is all overwhelming. Parenting and working are hard and you should lean on the support your parents have to offer.
Sometimes discussing and venting out your childcare frustrations may jolt them into offering to help. There are many challenges related to nannies and day-cares to drive any working mom mad. Venting out and seeking support from your parents may be all the nudges they needed to help you out.
It is one of the easiest ways to get childcare help from your parents as you do not have to ask but simply share your challenges, have them offer to help and you accept the offer. No parent wants to see their children struggling and it is only natural that they will reach out.
Depending on your parents and their personal needs, they may offer to watch your child a few times a week, or even over the weekend as you spend the time with your spouse or just for personal care. Alternatively, they will assist to pay for daycare or a nanny if the financial obligations of childcare are the main issues.
Rules when Asking Parents to Help with Childcare
1. Do Respect your Parents’ Boundaries and Privacy
No one wants to parent once they are through with parenting. If your parents are not okay with baby-sitting, respect their boundaries. Also, you need to be willing to accept help on their terms or finding another alternative.
Don’t manipulate them into helping out. Sometimes control and manipulation can have your parents agreeing to help out with watching the baby but it is not a good approach. You probably don’t want reluctant babysitters who may be resentful and unreliable because they have been pressured into agreeing.
2. Be Considerate of your Parent’s Needs
You have your own needs and so do your parents. Even if they are your family, they deserve to spend their time how they prefer. For instance, if your parents are old and in retirement, they not may prefer to have kids running around.
Also if you do not need childcare help, do not ask. Only have your parents help when it is necessary.
3. Do Compensate your Parents for Offered Help
Since you are not paying your family to help with childcare for your baby, find alternative ways to compensate instead. It can be occasional small gifts, a vacation trip, cash tokens, doing them favors among others.
4. Avoid Feeling Entitlement to your Parents Childcare Help
You need to understand that it is fair and understand to ask for childcare from grandparents. Also, understand it’s also fair for them to say no. Understand that the baby is your responsibility, not theirs.
Even if they are your family, you are not entitled to their help. Let the help come naturally without any coercion. If your parent has made it clear that they do not want to help with childcare, leave it at that and don’t push them further. If they don’t want to provide childcare, you need to stop asking for it.
5. Do Have a Backup Child Care Plan
Oftentimes, your parents will fail you on childcare. Sometimes you may have enough time to look for another option but in others, it can be a last-minute flake. Also sometimes even if willing, they may not be able to because of their plans. What you need is a solid backup plan for whenever you need an alternative.
6. Do Plan Ahead
Many parents are not a good spur of moment” sitter and therefore you need to let them well ahead of time that you are going to need their help.
Often your parents will offer or agree to look after your child without meaning it. If your gut tells you your child may not get the best care, you can politely decline and look for other options. Look for signs such as “am never looking after your child’ remarks while pregnant.
7. Know the Difference between Spending Time and Caring for the Baby
Many parents and other family members want to spend as much time with the babies in the family as possible but they just don’t want to be responsible for them. Don’t mistake this as them wanting to care for the baby.
Read: Find Quality Childcare the Right Way
8. Don’t Lock out your Parents when they Decline to Help
It can be tempting to want to “punish your parents for not helping out in childcare by locking them out of their grandchild’s life. It is important for everyone that your parents maintain a relationship with your child.
Involve them by inviting them to spend time with the baby with no obligation at all just to enjoy their grandchild without them having to take on the responsibilities.
Why Parents Don’t Want To Help Babysit
It is quite normal and fair for your family, even the baby’s grandparents to not want to help with childcare. This may be because;
- Some parents may decline helping you with childcare for their own personal reasons that you should respect.
- Some grand “parents” will not agree to help you with childcare because they just don’t want to be parents again.
- Some parents will decline when they live too far apart hence the commute and energy involved is too exhausting.
- Because caring for kids is too demanding and exhausting and some parents are too old for that.
- Some parents will decline to offer help in caring for your baby as they mostly want to only play and spend time not babysit.
- Most grandparents want to spoil their grand-kids, show off the pictures, but not be minimally involved in their care.
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