Is 50/50 House Chores Split With Husband Realistic
You do not have to do most of the work in your house because you are a woman. Your husband should also step in and do his share, even if he earns more than you. When you and your husband are both working full time, it is expected that each of you shares equally on managing the household and running the required errands.
Achieving an equitable split of household chores with your husband is very possible. Also a balanced distribution of household responsibilities, where working moms and their husbands share chores equally at a 50/50 ratio, is important for a thriving relationship.
A more equal and fair division of household chores can be achieved through communicating openly with your husband, understanding why an equal 50-50 split of the house chores is important and cooperation from both of you. In addition, you need a schedule, mutual understanding, adjustment, compromise & cooperation.
Read: How to Ask your Husband to Help with House Chores
How to Split Household Chores Equally with Husband
1. Communicate Clearly the Need for Sharing House Chores
Achieving a more equal and fair division of household chores with your husband requires open communication. You must communicate openly and honestly with your husband why you need him to help with the house chores.
- Be honest about your expectations and concerns regarding the share of house chores and the contribution each of you is making. This is important if you feel you are doing all the work and your husband is not doing much.
- Be clear to your partner why his equal help in managing the household is important for you, especially in helping strike a balance in other areas of your life. You both need time to rest from work and partake in other things.
- Communicate how the current distribution of household tasks affects you, your well-being, and your ability to manage work and family responsibilities effectively. Then share the benefits that a more equal division can bring to you and the overall relationship.
- If your partner does not understand the importance of sharing the responsibilities equally, having him do 50% of the household chores is hard. My husband didn’t want to divide or help with house chores, but after a calm, gradual communication, he eventually understood the need to and agreed to the split.
2. Establish a Realistic Chore Schedule
A clear outline of who is supposed to do what is very important for an equal and realistic distribution of the chores in your home. You may not achieve an equal 50-50 split of the house chores if there is no clarity over who is responsible for what chore and when, among other details.
The schedule helps make the chore split equal by instilling an element of responsibility and accountability. When chores are left to be done by anyone, you will find an unequal distribution of the chores, and you will feel resentful that you are doing too much and your husband is contributing too little to the chores in your home.
- Sit down with your husband, agree and create a chore schedule, especially since you are both working full time.
- Outline clearly who will do what and leave your husband to address the assigned chores as you complete your chores. I have found this to make it easier for me and my partner when I know clearly what I must do and what I leave to him.
The schedule will make your husband commit more to his share, and eventually, a 50-50 household chore split becomes a reality for you in your home.
Despite working full time, we have managed to keep the house chores schedule realistic and sustainable.I understand that I do the entire daycare drop-off when he handles all the pickups and dinner. The clarity in scheduling has made it easier to achieve a fair split of all the chores in my home.
3. Assign House Chores Based on Strengths and Interests
When dividing the house chores, assigning them based on your strengths and interests is the best approach. Expert says that doing what one loves makes the household chore split more practical.
My husband loves cooking, so putting him in charge of dinner makes it easy for him. He easily took it up, and it has never been an issue. I find cleaning quite therapeutic on my end, and I took up this house chore as my responsibility.
- Consider your and your husband’s strengths, preferences, and availability when allocating the household tasks equally. Your house chore schedule has more chances of being actionable if the chores are delegated according to your interests. The house chores arrangement must serve both of your needs and interests.
- By doing so, each will take part of their house chore allocation seriously while doing it efficiently and enjoying it. Working full time presents challenges on time and energy, and hence, completing house tasks that one loves is encouraging and easy to sustain.
If this strategy is followed, employed moms can realistically achieve an equal division of housework, with a 50/50 division, with their husbands.
4. Make a Regular Adjustment of Allocations
To make an equal household chore split with your husband realistic, regularly assess and adjust the chores when necessary. Several things may have changed your life since the last time you allocated a house chore to your husband.
Changing circumstances, such as work schedules, personal commitments, or life transitions, necessitate a change in how you have allocated chores between you and your partner. Both of you working full time also present challenges that require you to adjust based on your convenience and availability.
As a result adjustments make the schedule arrangement more flexible and fair. To accommodate these changes, ensure that you regularly assess if the joint schedule is still realistic and actionable and adjust as necessary. Flexibility and adaptability are crucial to maintaining fairness over time.
5. Make Compromises When Needed
Making compromises is one of the ways you can achieve an equal sharing of housework with your husband. Every home situation is unique; hence, finding a fair housework split or balance that works for you and your husband lies within how willing each of you is to compromise.
Acknowledge and appreciate your partner’s efforts and contributions while showing initiative in achieving an equal share of the housework. Show gratitude for your husband’s work because it fosters teamwork while encouraging ongoing participation.
Respect the contributions your husband is making and work together to create a harmonious division of household chores.
What to Do if Husband Refuses House Responsibilities
1. Outsource House Chores
If there is no way to equally share the house chores for your home, consider hiring someone who can complete these tasks for you. When both of your careers are full-time, you both may lack the time or the energy to do any more work after the office, and you can’t convince your husband to help.
When the husband is resistant to sharing or assisting with household tasks, getting an alternative person who can always help is the best approach. Hire out the work to a third party so that you do not end up doing the bulk of the housework.Also, it helps you get more organized with housework and keeping your home tidy.
Some of the chores you can consider outsourcing include cooking/meal delivery, cleaning, shopping, and daycare drop-off/pickups, among others.
Read: Top Services that you should Outsource as a Working Mom
2. Get Help from Family & Friends
If you live with or near your family and friends, you may be lucky to get help from them on house chores if your husband won’t equally share the load of housework. The help is especially important if you lack the money to hire or outsource these services.
Also, if you live in an area where these services are unavailable, your family and friends can fill in and complete the house tasks your husband has declined to do. It will alleviate some of the burdens and create more balance instead of doing all the housework alone.
My family really came in for us when we needed extra help with house chores. When dividing household tasks with my husband was impossible, then we had an alternative.
3. Stop Fighting over House Chores
If 50/50 house chores split with the husband is not possible, stop making it a fight . If you are facing challenges in getting your husband to participate in dividing or helping with house chores, try a more calm approach.
Find a solution to how you can address the issue. If you can afford it, hire out service providers instead. If you can afford it, find out if any of your friends and family is willing to help.
Only do what is necessary. Leave the tasks you cannot complete for later when you and your husband have the time. Let your husband clean up after himself too.
Fighting with your husband over house chores may have negative impacts on your relationship, and it’s better to find alternative solutions that will relieve your burden of house chores.
Read: How to Get Husband to Help with House Chores
4. Seek Understanding from your Husband
Aim to understand why your partner is resisting a fair division of the house chores. Be empathetic to their concerns and perspectives to help you unearth the potential barriers that exist.
Only by doing so can you address these issues and forge towards creating fair work distribution for your home. Look for compromises, trade-offs, or alternative arrangements that can address the resistance.
Jointly brainstorm ideas and look for alternatives that work for both of you. This way, you demonstrate your commitment to finding a mutually agreeable arrangement.
