There is a lot of expectations placed on women to handle all house chores. Yet at this age and time, house chores ARE the obligation of both partners and NOT the work of the woman.
Housework is very tiring and time-consuming and may be more manageable for women who are STAY AT HOME . But it is harder for career women working on a day job. It is cause fatigue, affects your health, self care , work performance and your social life.
Some women are lucky to have their partners help but most are not. They later have to do the house chores ALONE if the husband is not helping.
You can easily get your husband to help with house chores by being logical in asking for help, illustrate the impact the situation has on your relationship, use clear communication, ask moderately and get professional help such as therapy when necessary.
If your husband declines to help, then you can hire a help, have all family members chip in or practice better time management and self-care habits to avoid getting overwhelmed.
How Too Much Housework Affects you
- Physical Exhaustion– Too much housework leads to exhaustion and fatigue, as your body becomes drained because of the weight of the house chores.
- Poor Health – Doing house chores alone strains you and you may suffer psychologically and mentally. You may also have problems sleeping, affecting your physical and mental health.
- Poor Performance at Work– Fatigue lessens the effectiveness of your work as you cant focus or concentrate. You may not be as productive and relational as needed for optimal work performance.
- Poor Self Care Habits– Work and house chores takes up most of your time, and you will have little or no time to yourself. You may be unable to do any self-care habits and the needs of other people overtake and replace your own priorities.
- Poor Social Relations– Your social relations wither as you become more irritable and unfriendly because you are drained emotionally. You rarely get time to spend with your friends and your relationship with your partner will likely bear the heaviest blow.
Read: How to Avoid Fatigue and Recover from Burnout
Tricks & Tips to Get Husband to Help with Housework
A. Be Logical and Reasonable
While you are entitled to help, approach the matter more reasonably and logically rather than be demanding and threatening. You can start by helping your partner understand the need for his help seeing the amount of work there is and how it is too much for you. From this understand, it is will reasonable that they help you.
B. Show how House Work Impacts your Relationship
You may need to show that doing all the work not only affects you but your relationship as well. Not getting help will lead to a poor relationship, then resentment and eventually wither away. If your husband cares for your needs then he will be convinced as to why he needs to chip on sharing the housework with you.
Helping out in the house does not make a man less a man. It is more honorable and admirable when a man helps his wife out with the housework. This shows that he is caring and mindful of her needs
C. Ask for Help Moderately
Start asking him to help out moderately in some areas of work in the house. Gradually sit down and plan how you will divide up the tasks so that no partner is handling too much work. You can make a list of household responsibilities and divide it up among yourselves. Then you can adjust this later rather than dump up all responsibilities at once.
D. Show Gratitude
If your husband is helping some, acknowledge the help that he is already providing and talk to him about how necessary it is that he does more. Use positive encouragement rather than complaints or giving ultimatums.
Don’t insist on him doing them your way or on your schedule as this comes across as nagging. Nonetheless, it is important to stress the need of getting the task done in time.
E. Use Clear Communication
Be clear and intentional in your communication. Don’t make hints or insulate about needing help. Make it clear in your communication that you do need help. It makes it easier for your husband to help out where necessary.
E. Get Professional Help
Talk to your family therapist about the issue. Having an unbiased second opinion may be more persuading to your partner on the importance of him helping in the house. A therapist will address any concerns your partner may have and dissipate his fears.
Read: How to Achieve a Realistic 50-50 House Chores Split with Husband
What to Do if Husband Wont Help with Housework
1. Employ a House Help
If you and your partner are both working and can afford it, then it is advisable to get help if your husband cant help in the house chores. This may not be an option to most people because of the financial implications involved but if you can afford it, go forth and hire a house help.
A house help will ensure that your house matters are in order and all house chores are taken care of always. You, therefore, need not worry about any more work after a long tiring day at work. As a bonus, both you and your partner will be able to have time for each other as well as space, rest, sleep, and replenishment for the next day.
When it comes to house helps, you have different options you can go for depending on your particular needs and circumstances. For instance, you can get a day burg that comes to your house in the morning and leaves in the evening. The help will ensure that all house chores are done by evening. However, you will need to do any more work there is after their shift is over.
Optionally you may have one that lives with you. A live-in help is more convenient and more available to you. This is especially important if you need to work odd hours such as staying late at the office.
Read: Top Services all Working Moms should Outsource
2. Get Family Members to Help
If you are unable to hire a house help, this is your next option. If possible ,all adults living with you must chip on their share of work to ease the pressure of house chores. It includes your siblings, other extended family living with you, AND your husband.
Communicate with them what each needs to do on a daily basis to ensure that all housework is handled by the end of the day. Create a chore list and who is responsible for what so that no one is doing too much work than others.
3. Practice Better Time Management
If you are unable to employ a house help because of finances or other reasons, then you can relieve the pressure on yourself by better organizing your time and work to ensure that you are not overwhelmed.
These tips will help you save some precious time for yourself;
- Prioritize daily tasks by importance and tackle them in that order
- Schedule certain tasks for certain days only e.g. washing clothes thrice a week
- Use the weekends to eliminate any backlog in accumulated housework
- Combine errands to save time e.g. picking mail and doing shopping as you pick up the kids
- Bulk up your tasks e.g. do grocery shopping once a week, make bulk food and freeze in portions etc
- Invest in machines e.g. washing machine, dishwasher, vacuum machine, etc. to save time and energy
By doing the above you will find that you can save yourself a lot of energy and time on these chores and have more time for yourself to rest when your husband has refused to help.
Read: Efficient Time Management Hacks for Moms Working Night Shift
Tips on Managing House Chores
- If your husband won’t help and you can’t afford house help then some of it can wait.
- House chores will always be there at home. There will always be something needing to be done here or there.
- Prioritize your needs too as you do those of your family and partner. Ensure you eat well, rest, and get enough sleep every day as you need it for the next day.
- Never beat yourself up for not finishing all the work today, as there’s always tomorrow. Do what you can do and leave the rest for another day.
- Don’t let house chores occupy and take so much of your life and space.
Last Word!
While it can be understood that the man may be exhausted from work, remember you as the woman is equally exhausted. It is then only then fair that each equally handles what needs to be done in the house.
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