What should I prioritize most, family or career? What should be my priority between family and career? Should I commit more to my family than my job? Is my family more important than my career? These are common questions that working moms have to ponder everyday.
As a working mum, you may be at this crossroad now or have been at it severally, wondering what to choose between career and family and how to arrive at this decision? I know at some point you have also been confronted with the question” what do you choose between family or career, and why?”
Well, it is indeed a hard question to answer. Some days may feel like you are not giving your partner just enough time. Others feel like you are neglecting your child too much because of your work commitments. The rest of the days may feel like your job is suffering a lot because of your family needs and responsibilities.
So what exactly do you make your priority? Family or career?
A Working Mom can Execal at Both Family or Career
It is possible that a working mom can have both family and career are priorities. You can have a great career and be a great mom at the same time. Unfortunately, there is no right answer to how this can be achieved, especially given the different personal situations and experiences.
In fact, no measure can place your career and family on the same metric as two are separate elements. I am aware that different opinions and views are suggesting that a career should come first and others suggesting that families should always come first. These opinions and views appear to align women only as family or career-oriented.
But have you ever thought that you can choose all? Yes, you can choose your career and family and commit equally. With all due respect I feel contrary opinions are all making working mom choose one part of their life only.
I make it a point to wear all my hats and I never worry about choosing what is more important between family and career in my life. I hence suggest that you should not and do not have to choose between the two. Reason? They are all YOU. If you are working, then your profession is part of you as much as your family is.
Read: How to Effectively Achieve Work-life Balance
Why You Should not Prioritize Family or Career and Vice Versa
You are a working mom, YOU are all the two. At this point, I would also like to add a third element, YOURSELF, the person you are beside being an employee and a mother/wife. You are now all THREE. All are your responsibilities and commitments that you need to honor to be complete.
Do yourself a favor and never entertain “should I choose family or career” thoughts in your mind as each carries its different weight. They are all important in their aspects and none can replace the other. Family needs are not similar to your job needs or personal needs.
Hence do not prioritise work or family over the other. Never make choosing family or career an option. Choosing one over the rest therefore will only lead to you living an unhappy imbalanced life. Exclusively making your career a priority will mean that your relationship with your child (ren) will suffer.
If on the other hand, you commit to your family more than your career, your productivity and career development will be affected. Most importantly if you neglect yourself (mind and body) you are lowering your value of committing to either your job or family. The best way to approach this dilemma therefore is to make room for and balance all three.
Read: A Guide on Choosing between Career Goals and Financial Goals
Simple Guaranteed Tips for for Moms to Excel at Both Family & Career
But how do you as a working mom not choose between family and career? How can you balance both career and parenthood?
Integration is the key. This means ensuring that none of these elements is dominant over the other. You must balance your career, family and self into your life as this integration is how you will hone the fullness of who you are.
Making room for and balancing all career, family and personal commitments appear like you need superhuman powers. But women were created with this capability and you can do it.
However it is no easy way, it takes deliberate decision-making and action to make all these elements a part of your life. To successfully integrate family and career into your life, you need to nurture these aspects of yourself as one whole being.
1. Set Work Hours to Give Equal Priority to Career & Family
Do not work outside your set work hours. This goes for both employed and self-employed moms. Avoid working outside this space unless absolutely necessary. Be proactive in taking care of routine tasks to avoid inconveniences and you will excel at both your work and family.
2. Set Mandatory Family Time
Just like your work hours, set hours that will only be spent with your family. Make nights and weekends exclusive for your family. Plan for a family outing, a picnic or fun play activities with your kids.
You may want to have a separate time for your babies and time for your partner. This could be taking your son to a ball game or a movie night out with your partner.
Schedule some “me-time” also. Please do not forget about yourself. Allocate an hour or so to yourself daily. Remember your ability to give you all to your family and career is only realized when you are well yourself.
You need time for yourself to reset, refresh and refocus as it is very important for both your physical and mental health. When you love and care for your health and mind, you will feel and have a positive mindset that make help you keep your family and career prioritise equal.
Read: Time Management Tips for Working Moms
3. Be Strict in your Planning for Time and Activities
Strict plan for self, family and career activities. Make a weekly or monthly family activity plan ahead that includes activities for all self, family and career elements. You can adjust your plan accordingly to your convenience as long as the balance is maintained.
4. Be Disciplined in Spending your Time
Learn to set limits and say no to other unplanned commitments in your day. You might jeopardize your plan to commit both to your career and family.
5. Practise Selfcare
Love and care for yourself. You need to be well to handle all the pressures of work and family and equalise them. Eat well, exercise, have enough sleep, find a hobby, meditate etc.
6. Practise Effective Time Management
Avoid time wasters as they east your time. It affects your productivity and efficiency and hence the time you allocate to self, work or family. At the end of the day either your family or career will suffer.
7. Set Apart a Budget for Family and Career
Allocate funds for each of your plan events. By doing you are guaranteed that you have all you need to balance and excel at family and career.
It will avoid you skipping an activity on the “no funds” excuse. Budget for things like picnics, movies, personal learning among others well ahead of time
Remember…
Perfection will not be possible. These guidelines do not assume by any means that you will have it easy. You will be faced with difficult situations for sure that you will need to choose which commitment to honor between family and career. You will be faced with the hard decision of whether to take your child to that ball game or movie with your partner or prepare for your boss presentation for the next day.
When this happens refer back to your plan where you had planned for that specific time slot. Also, the specific situation will advise you on the best thing to do. Let your partner and child know and understand when you have to pick work or career over them. Compensate later by putting in more time for them.
The key to making it a success out of your marriage, motherhood and career is by evolving as your life evolves. Every stage in your life will change and affect your life in a way that needs adjusting. You will only make excel at family and work if you adjust and learn along the way. As more family and career responsibilities change, evolve and learn with the changes.
