Celebrating the life of a new baby is common across the world. Family and friends meet to celebrate the life after a pregnancy or birth. These parties are called baby showers.
Baby showers serve the following purposes;
- Celebrating the life after a pregnancy or birth
- Offers family and friends a chance to meet both and the Baby.
While they are more common before birth, there is a new trend nowadays of baby showers held after birth, which is quite suitable. It is an exciting and refreshing way for both mom and baby to be celebrated.
Holding baby showers after the baby is born is normal and not weird at all. It is socially acceptable and appropriate to hold baby showers after the baby is born when the mom has a challenging pregnancy, the baby is born prematurely, or the baby is coming through surrogacy & adoption.
Post birth baby showers are more common in the Southern United States in states like Texas, Louisiana, and Georgia. Also Australia, New Zealand, Caribbean & Latin American Countries, African, Asian, and Middle Eastern cultures hold baby shower parties after birth of the kid.
What Happens in “Sip and See” Parties
There are a lot of differences between baby showers held before and after birth. What happens in pre-birth baby showers, is that the guests are entertained with food and drinks , play games with the mom, guess the gender, offer name proposals and bring gifts for the mom and baby among the socializing.
This is different in post-birth parties also called ‘sip and see’ parties because the guests sip a beverage and see the baby. What happens during this parties, is that the guests get a chance to see and not really hold the baby, especially if they are still too small. The guests then offer post-partum support to the mum if any help is needed.
They are unique from the traditional baby showers in the sense that they are held after birth, and therefore, the baby is present. The baby is the center of attention and not the mom.
Also, the atmosphere is more relaxed, in comparison since the two parties attract different guests. Pre-birth showers normally include peer friends around same age. On the other hand post birth baby showers will mostly include family members.
In addition in a sip and see party, there are more opportunities to customize and personalize the party compared to normal traditional baby showers. It is more personal and intimate than it would be if the guest were just meeting the pregnant mom.
Read: How to Know if you Need an Early Maternity Leave
Reasons to Have your Baby Shower after Birth
1. A Chance to Meet the Baby
A baby shower held after birth is the right and appropriate time to meet the baby. Holding baby showers once the baby is already born offers family and friends the opportunity to actually meet the baby during this party.
When you host a baby shower before the birth of the baby, the attention is retained only by the mom. The baby is unborn and cannot be seen. On the other hand, ‘Sip and See’ after birth is a good time to meet both the mom and the baby.
The logic and reason behind a post birth baby shower is that the baby actually is actually present in the shower and the center of attention. Holding baby showers before denies the guests this chance. They then have to make another visit after the baby is here so that they can meet them.
When my sister was pregnant, the option of a post-baby shower after the baby was born worked well for us because we were traveling from far. We would have missed seeing the baby if the party was done before the birth.
Further, the guests can actually gift the baby and not the mom. One rationale for holding baby showers after birth is that guests have time to get functional gift for baby.
2. Post Birth Baby Showers are Easier to Coordinate
Traditional baby showers that are done before birth are usually during the 3rd semester. During this time, you, as the mother, are usually so tired and not up to a get-together or entertaining guests.
As such, it becomes hard to coordinate and attend a party. You can’t enjoy the party when you are pregnant. There is less stress and preparation needed for sip-and-see parties . It becomes easier for you to plan and coordinate the baby shower when you are not pregnant.
Also you have a chance to recover so that you are ready for a party. You can plan for the ‘Sip and See’ anywhere after three months so that you have healed and can enjoy the party. By this time, the baby’s immunity would have strengthened to handle being around people.
3. Suitable for Challenging Pregnancies
Moms who have dealt with infertility and stillbirth find it hard to celebrate anything until the baby is in their arms. Many moms have lost pregnancies after baby showers parties. When this happens, it becomes awkward to have to explain to friends and family about the loss.
I know of a neighbor friend who lost her baby soon after the baby shower. She had to deal with explaining the ordeal to friends and family who had attended the baby shower.
Holding a baby shower after the baby has already been born saves you all this. It is especially important if you have a challenging pregnancy or have lost a pregnancy before. Many use this as a ground to hold their baby shower party after and not before the birth of the child.
4. Suitable for Premature Births
Baby showers held after the child has been born are appropriate for babies born prematurely. You may have planned for the baby shower to be done before the baby is born, but the baby may be born before then.
If this happens, you have no choice but to hold a sip and see party after the baby has been born. You may need to wait for a few months for you to heal and the baby to be ready for the party.
5. Appropriate for Surrogacy & Adoption
If you are having a baby through surrogacy, it makes no sense to host a baby shower before the birth of the baby. It is more appropriate for you to wait till the baby have been born and the official process is complete.
The same applies to when you are adopting a newborn. You must wait until the adoption process is complete before you can hold the sip-and-see party for the baby.
6. Accepted Culturally
In some cultures, holding any form of party for the baby before its birth is considered a taboo. As such, it is only culturally accepted to do baby showers or ‘sip and see’ parties after the baby is born. In such cases, is it considered a ‘meet the baby’ party not a baby shower.
Many who consider this a taboo believe that your will attract a bad omen by doing a baby shower when pregnant. However i believe you will not lose your child because of this. Your child cannot die because of a baby shower party.
7. Chance to Receive Practical Gifts
Baby showers usually entail gifting the mom. These gifts are mostly items they may need when the newborn arrives.Hosting a baby shower after and not before the baby’s birth is a chance for you to receive better and more useful gifts.
When the party is held before the birth, it is usually a gamble. The mom may not receive practical gifts for the baby. The gifts may be wrong gender or size for the new born baby.
However, holding a post-birth baby shower is suitable as it is a better chance to receive practical gifts. When the baby is already here, the gender, size and other preferences are clearer. As a result the gifts from the guests are more practical.
Some of the gifts you can expect include;
- Baby clothes
- Bath set
- Gift Card
- Baby Monitor
- Baby cot/bassinet
- Baby trolley/car seat
- Pump, bottles and related supplies
- Diapers and other sanitaries
Read: Graduation Gifts Ideas for Kids
Tips on Planning a Simple Sip and See Party
1. Put up Boundaries on Baby Handling for Health Reasons
Immunity is important since the newborn is still weak, and this will make your meet-the-baby party more comfortable for you. Infants have more delicate immune systems, so it is understandable that most moms are nervous about lots of people touching/holding and spreading germs to the baby.
If you are not comfortable passing the newborn around during the ‘sip-and-see’ party, you can wrap them up. You can wear the baby so that family and friends can see it during the party but not touch them.
2. Don’t Rush- Allow Yourself Time to Heal
To be able to enjoy the meet-the-baby party after birth, you and the baby need to be ready. You need time to heal from the birth, especially if you had a CS. Your baby equally needs time to develop immunity before they are ready to meet people at a party.
As such, do not rush the party. Wait for at least three months after the birth of the baby before you hold the baby shower. Don’t hold meet-the-baby parties till you have physically recovered enough. You will enjoy the party more this way.
3. Don’t Worry About the Baby Crying At the Party
Most moms have concerns that their baby will cry throughout the party. However, you don’t have to worry that. If your baby cries, that is what babies do; they cry.
Let them be and not stress over it. Just ensure that they are not wet, they are well fed and sleep when they need to.
You may have a hard time calming the baby, but you are allowed to excuse yourself and attend to the baby. Nothing unusual.
4. Make the Party Open House
Instead of everyone coming at the same time at your house, have your guests arrive at different times during the day. Let your family and friends know they can drop by say from 10 am to 6 pm.
That way, you and the new baby are not overwhelmed by the guests. You will be more relaxed and can calm your baby quietly should the need arise.
I have attended an open house sip-and-see party before. There were never more than 4 or 5 people over at one time. I found it interesting and easy on the mom and the baby.
5. Incorporate More Appropriate Games
To make the ‘Meet the Baby’ party unique, the mom can incorporate other games and activities than the traditional baby shower games. Some of these include baby naming, storytelling, parenting tips and advice, gift opening, and baby photo sessions.
Baby Shower Before or After Birth???
If you are not sure whether to hold a baby shower before or after baby is born, here are a few factors you can consider.
- Personal Preferences. Which option would you like? Go with the option that you aggravate more towards.
- Ease of Participating-Would you rather entertain guests when heavily pregnant or with a newborn? Pick which instance is more comfortable and preferable for you. If you would rather attend a party when heavily pregnant, then does a baby shower after birth? Also, some moms never want to deal with breastfeeding during a party.
- Travelling Family & Friends-If you have family and friends travelling from far. Host a one off party that they all can attend. Look for a way to not inconvenience travelling family and friends in a way they have to travel twice. If a post birth baby shower is more appropriate then go for it.
- Finances-Most baby showers done before the birth of the baby are meant to help the parents raise items they need for the newborn. As such, if you are financially well and do not need the help, then holding a baby shower after the birth is more appropriate.
- Baby’s Health/Immunity-If you fear that your baby may catch some bug from the party, do the baby shower beforehand. If you are not comfortable with your newborn being around your family and friends, then a post-baby shower after birth may not be your thing. However, you wait at least three months after the baby is born so that they develop their immunity to be ready for a sip-and-see party.
- Emotional State– Most moms are vulnerable emotionally during pregnancy. If you are not mentally up to a party during your pregnancy, then wait till you have delivered your baby. Private people worry about being around people during a vulnerable time, and if this is you, then wait and host your baby shower after the birth, and you will improved emotionally.
