Is it Ok Being a Female Breadwinner in the Family?
Males should not always be the breadwinner. In today’s society it is common and standard to find families where the mom is the breadwinner. Many working moms are now earning more than their husbands.
It is not wrong when you are the mom who earns more than your husband. It is now considered very normal when you as the working mom are providing a majority or all of your family’s financial needs.
Should you give your Husband an Allowance if you are the Family Breadwinner?
If your husband is a stay-at-home dad and handles the household chores, then it is ok to give them some allowance. As a stay at home dad, he may be caring for your children, cleaning, laundry, making dinners, and running errands among others.
While you are earning more than him or is bringing all the money ,he is handling all the household issues. Therefore, they require some allowances since you would have paid for all these services if your husband were not doing them.
It is not lazy or unreasonable when your husband asks for some allowances from you as the female breadwinner. Since they are not working but keeping your home intact, they deserve it.
However, if your stay-at-home husband does not do any of the household chores then they are not entitled to any allowances.
Revealed Reasons Moms Hate/Resent Being the Family Breadwinner
Working moms have the privilege of going to work and earning income. However, when the income and the benefits that come with the job are more than what their husbands are bringing in, they become breadwinners.
While being the family breadwinner as the woman is not bad, many resent it. Being a female breadwinner means that you have to work harder than your husband. Also, it means that you must keep your job as it would impact your family financially.
As a result, many working moms get tired and resent being the breadwinners of their families. Dealing with resentment when you earn more than your husband is hence very challenging. You hate that in addition to meeting all the bills, they have to give the husband some monthly allowances.
Read: Sources of Motivation for Working Moms
What is Female Breadwinner Burnout
Being a female breadwinner can lead to burnout. Female breadwinner burnout happens when you as the working mom are under constant work and financial pressures to keep your family stable.
You may start being resentful and tired of meeting the financial needs of your family all the time, leading to burnout of being the breadwinner.
Read: How to Recover from Burnout
Guaranteed Expert Tips on Dealing with Female Breadwinner Burnout
If you feel resentful and tired of the female breadwinner, there are several things you can do.
1. Switch to a Family Friendly Career/Job
If your job has too much pressure, you can consider switching to a less stressful job. You may feel that you must keep your job despite it being a source of your stress to meet the needs of your family.
You hence end up hating and resenting being the breadwinner because of the environment in which you are working. If you can move to a better work environment you may realize that you will love and provide for your family.
Therefore working for a family-friendly employer or workplace is one way of dealing with resentment from being a female burnout. It will give you a chance to love your job and the flexibility to enjoy the balance between your career and your family.
Read: Best Family Friendly Careers
2. Let the Husband Handle House Chores
To address the challenges of being a female breadwinner, you should leave the household chores to your husband. If you are a female breadwinner in your family, you must look for how to balance the duties of your household to eliminate the resentment and burnout of being the breadwinner.
Being a female breadwinner can be tiring so you do not have to add in managing your household. Have your husband do the daycare drop off and pickups, cleaning, laundry, making dinners, and running errands.
It will ensure that your kids and household are running well , which will relieve you and you won’t feel as tired of being the breadwinner of the family. You also won’t hate being the family breadwinner.
3. Talk to your Husband about him Getting a Better Job
If you are feeling burnt out or tired of being the female breadwinner, talk to your husband about him getting a better job. If your husband is a stay-at-home dad or you earn significantly more than him he can try looking for a better job that will bring in more income.
Motivate your husband to look for a job and keep it too. A job will give your husband tenacity, drive, and ambition to grow in life and this will pull off some financial pressure on you.
Having your husband help in meeting the financial needs of your family is a big relief. The option will allow both of you to split bills that each of will handle so that none of you is feeling tired or the pressure of a huge financial obligation.
The financial split will leave you less resentful and you won’t hate or mind being the family breadwinner or paying the majority of the household bills.
4. Split the Bills Fairly to Relieve the Burnout
If your husband is not a stay-at-home dad but is earning something, then you can both decide on the best way to split the bills. Allowing your husband to share in some of the bills will help you get rid of resentment or contempt for him when you are the breadwinner.
You can try splitting the bills based on the percentage of your income. As the female breadwinner, you are significantly earning more so you will take care of the biggest percentage while your husband fills up with the rest. It will be equitable eventually.
Alternatively, you can decide to combine all your income into a joint account. The money will then handle all the bills of the household. None of you will feel resentment for the other person based on who earns more than the other. You will feel better about being a female breadwinner since you are all working towards meeting your family goals.
Both options of splitting bills will relatively ease you off the pressure of the family breadwinner and can finally value your partner based on the value that they are bringing in. It is one of the best ways of dealing with a large income gap between you and your husband when you as the woman are the one earning more.
Even when you are earning more than your husband, you must see the value that your partner is bringing in.
Expert Advice: What to do when you Earn More than your Husband
- Discuss with your husband before making any big purchases. Everything you buy as a family affects your finances and you both need to agree on how to approach it to avoid putting too much pressure on you as the breadwinner.
- When you earn more than your husband many people can make it an issue. Ignore the negative comments from your family, friends, or society. Many people will not agree with you being the breadwinner of the family.
- You will therefore hear a lot of negative comments about your husband. You must ignore this and focus on making your financial arrangements work.
- Avoid the mom guilt. You are not being a bad mom when you have to work harder or longer hours. As a female breadwinner, your husband will naturally spend more hours and quality time with your children.
- It however does not mean that you are a bad mom. You are a strong mom who is working to provide for the entire family.
- Even if you earn and bring more than your husband, your opinion of your husband still matters. To avoid feeling resentment towards your partner when you are a female breadwinner, ensure that you ask for their opinion and include them in any major decisions that you are making that could affect your family.
- Inviting and considering their input will make you stop feeling resentful about being the female breadwinner.
- Communicate with your husband about how you are feeling when if you earn significantly more than him. It’s likely going to take more than one conversation on the topic but keep at it.
Related Articles
Are Working Moms Happier than Stay at Home Moms?
