The most common childcare option such as hiring a nanny or enrolling the baby in daycare are expensive for some moms , inconvenient, and unreliable, leaving the option to family. Some moms have the privilege of having family members around, especially the parents who can help with childcare as you go to work or run errands.
It is okay and reasonable to ask your family, especially your parents for help with childcare. You’re definitely allowed to ask them for help, but they’re not obligated to help either.
The childcare offered is cheap or free, convenient, reliable , mom friendly and supportive, and your child is surrounded by love.
However it is hard to set boundaries, your child may not receive the best care or be too rigid, may be inconvenient & unreliable, and there is a possibility of your family manipulating you.
Reasons/Benefits to Ask Your Family to Help Babysit
Pro 1. Child Care Offered is Low Cost
Rarely will your parents or other family members require that you pay them for caring for your child. They are family and that is what families do; helping out and supporting working moms. It makes the family the go-to option for moms looking to cut out the childcare cost.
By having the child under the care of the grandparents, you are able to save on the amount you would have otherwise used on daycare or hiring a nanny. Occasionally you may compensate or appreciate the help with small gifts, tokens, or favors whose value does not amount to what you would have paid for childcare.
The other cost implication of having your child under the care of their grandparents is the fuel to commute to and from the house, which can be significant if they live far. If the fuel cost is too high, it does not warrant you taking the kids to your parents’ house. Instead, find other more convenient childcare options.
Read: How Single Mom Afford High Daycare Costs
Pro 2. Family-Based Child Care is Mom Friendly and Supportive
Your family forms a crucial part of your support system. As a working mom, you have unending demands and pressures that you need a support system to help you with. This is where your family comes in and supports you in all ways they can, which is childcare.
One of the benefits of having your parents care for your child is that they understand best the struggles that you are undergoing and hence offer the most supportive child care to allow you to have some personal life.
As such you are likely to have your parents babysit your child for a night as you go out on a dinner date with your spouse. If you need to go on a weekend vacation for personal care, your parents will gladly offer to help with the baby. You are unlikely to get such convenient care from daycare, nanny, or other options for daycare.
Pro 3. Your Child Is Surrounded By Love
Having your child under the care of your parents opens up the doors of pure and genuine love for your child. It is beneficial to you because your family are people who genuinely love and care for your child and are not doing childcare for money.
Your child will benefit a lot to be cared for and spending time in a company that genuinely loves and care for them. In addition, it gives your peace of mind to know your child is in the hands of people you can fully trust.
Pro 4. Child Care from Family Is Convenient and Reliable
If your family/parents live close to you they can offer a very convenient and reliable childcare option. Convenience of care is a major benefit of having family to look after your child. However, it needs to be consistent to allow you to plan for work and other errands while your child is under the care of your parents.
Most arrangements can be reliably set for regular days of the week or hours to allow the working mom some consistency. Such a level of convenience and reliability cannot be said for other options such as a nanny.
Read: Ways of Getting your Parents to Help with Childcare
Reasons to Not Ask Your Family for Help With Childcare
Con 1. It Is Hard To Set Boundaries with Family
One of the major drawbacks of having your parents watch over your child is that it is hard to set boundaries. You may want to have your child cared for in a certain way but your parents insist on doing it their way. If you feel that your parents’ parenting ways differ from yours, do not ask them to help with childcare.
The fact that this is your family and also that you are not paying for childcare makes it hard for you to call them out. It may end up compromising the care that the baby receives and also severe the relationship between you and your parents.
Con 2. Your Child May Not Receive the Best Care
Even if they are highly willing to offer care, sometimes this is just not the best kind of care your baby needs. It however highly depends on the age of your child and the age of your parents.
If your child is too active and all over the place they need active attention that your parents may not offer. Further, your child needs activities and engagements that are geared for their growth and development. Again your parents may not offer this, especially if they are of a certain age.
Therefore you have to weigh if your parents are capable of offering highly engaging activities and care for the growth and development of your child. If not consider other options such as a daycare.
Con 3. Parents Can Be Inconvenient and Unreliable
Childcare care help from your parents can sometimes be inconvenient and unreliable; which is a major disadvantage. If your parents are always offering to help but bailing out at the last minute, it can hugely inconvenience you as you have to find an alternative the last minute.
Also, the lifestyle of your parents may make it hard to create a regular schedule of the days and hours you can rely on them for childcare. It also makes it hard to plan for work or other errands as there is no consistency.
If consistency and reliability in childcare are crucial for you, you should look for another more solid plan which you can reliably plan around such as a daycare. If this is your case consider not taking help from your parents to babysit.
Read: Where to find Baby sitters/Nannies Urgently
Con 4. Child Care Help from Parents Can be Too Rigid
Some parents are willing to offer child care but only on their terms. It means they dictate the days or hours they are offering the help and also where. These terms may make them quite unhelpful as a childcare option.
For instance, they can insist on only babysitting from their house. Therefore you have to drive to and from your parents on all days you are needing help from them. The element makes it very inconvenient for you especially in terms of the time you use to commute.
Secondly, it means that your parents would not help in cases of an emergency such as one needing them to bend on their terms and coming to your house to babysit. It becomes a major drawback as a form of childcare.
Lastly, they become unbending on how they offer the care and are not willing to take in your suggestions. They may also disagree, disapprove and be strongly opinionated about your style of parenting.
Con 5. Possibility of Manipulation from your Parents
Offering to care for your child is a huge favor some parents will use to manipulate and control you. In exchange for the care that they offer your child, it can be used to control you. Not all parents have healthy relationships with their children and some would take this opportunity to control you.
It can be used to guilt-trip you and make your mom’s guilt escalate. It can be used to have you do for your parents that you would have otherwise declined.
Therefore there is a risk that your parents can use babysitting to get their ways and have you do whatever they want, even if you do not want to. If there is this possibility in your case it is best to not ask help from your family and find other options for childcare.
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