The debate of who is happier between stay-at-home moms and working moms has never and probably will never die out. Many women, working or not have always wondered which side is better and offers happiness. However, the reality of happiness is far more nuanced than a simple comparison.
- Each lifestyle presents its own unique challenges and rewards, shaped by individual circumstances, personal values, and societal expectations.
- There are challenges for working moms as there are challenges for stay at home moms.
- While some mothers thrive in the dynamic environment of a career, finding fulfillment and financial independence, others find profound joy and purpose in nurturing their families at home.
Understanding that happiness is not a one-size-fits-all concept allows us to appreciate the diverse experiences of mothers and recognize that, ultimately, happiness is deeply personal and influenced by a myriad of factors beyond just employment status.
Which is Better: Working or Staying at Home?
There is no direct and definite answer to this question. The best and most accurate reply would be “to each their own”. Both parents and children in both setups can be equally happy.
Research findings, from the Harvard study indicate that children of working moms can be just as happy and successful as those of stay-at-home moms. The data from two cross-national social surveys of more than 100,000 men and women from 29 countries, done by Harvard university suggest that children of working moms grow up to be just as happy as children of stay-at-home moms.
Further the research by Harvard showed that having a working mom comes with potential benefits for their children
- They have more education
- Daughters are more likely to be employed, advance their careers, and have higher annual earnings
- Sons were found to spend more time caring for their families.
Therefore, there is no side where moms are happier than the other. Some women find more happiness while working than staying at home. Not all women are able to leave their children and pursue a career. Those that do are passionate about what they do, do what it takes to find a balance and that’s how they find happiness.
Equally some women are very happy as stay at home moms. They would give anything in this world to keep that privilege of being able to stay at home to bring up and care for their children. Even if they once worked, career no longer excites them and they find happiness in caring for their kids/family.
As such working moms can be happy either as a stay at home or as working moms. It all depends on so many factors, especially one’s personality.
We are all parents but all differ in our approach to parenthood, career, passion, and personal goals among others that make some women gravitate more towards working while others gravitate more towards homemaking. Nonetheless, both sides are valuable to their women and have their challenges as well.
Read: How to Quit Work and be SAHM
Why Working Moms are Happy
1. Working helps in Finances
Working allows women to have a source of income and sustenance. Some are working remotely, part-time, or full-time. They can either be the breadwinner in the family or simply are supportive spouses.
They hence have an income that they can use to meet their personal financial needs and sustain their lives that stay at home moms don’t have. When working they are able to cover for basic needs, child care, health care, self-care, and savings/investments among others.
Jessica, Nurse:
“There are days when I feel overwhelmed with guilt for not being at home with my kids. But then I remember that my work helps provide for their future. Plus, the interactions I have at work and the skills I develop make me a more rounded person and, ultimately, a better mom.”
2. Work is Fulfilling
Women who are happy at work are those who have a passion for the work that they are doing. It is especially so for moms working in the creative field.
- Working simply allows them to be in their element and be the best version of themselves.
- It is by being in this state that they find true happiness, which may not happen if they were not working and were staying at home instead.
3. Working offers Work-Life Balance
Working adds a very important aspect to life balance for women. All rest and play with no work is boring and do not make for a complete and fulfilling life.
While work may come in different aspects, many working moms find that work helps them to have a balanced life, which is very crucial in creating an all-around and happy person.
Read : Maintaining a Social Life while Working from Home
4. Enhances their Social Life
Working is exciting and offers so many opportunities to working moms for meeting, interacting, and working with different people and clients. If you are the social and extrovert type of a working mom then this aspect mean so much to you.
- Some moms look forward every day to learning and working along with different people at the workplace.
- They derive so much joy from these interactions that makes them happy, which may not happen if they stayed at home and not working.
5. Leads to Happier Parenting
Further the research by Harvard showed that having a working mom comes with potential benefits for their children
- They have more education
- Daughters are more likely to be employed, advance their careers, and have higher annual earnings
- Sons were found to spend more time caring for their families.
The findings illustrate that having an employed mother offers the kids a model for what is required to excelling at both employment and home while promoting a culture of gender equality at the same time.
The research further suggests that, there is little change in the quality time parents spend with their children–even if you don’t have time to make homemade pastries for the bake sale.
Sarah, Marketing Executive:
“I love my job and the sense of fulfillment it gives me. Balancing work and motherhood is tough, but when I see my daughter proud of my accomplishments, it makes me feel like I’m setting a strong example for her. I want her to know that she can chase her dreams while also being a great mom.”
6. Allows For Career Growth & Development
One key goal for working is career growth and development.
- Many work to see that they go up the career ladder through promotions, learning and other recognition’s.
- They add on to their educational qualification, portfolio, and experiences among others to achieve this goal.
When this type of woman is progressing and going up the career ladder, they feel so accomplished and happy. Such may not happen if they were staying at home.
Read: What to do When Doubting your Worth at Work
Why Stay at Home Moms are Happy
1. Supports Happy Home Building
Generally, there is happiness in motherhood because women are generally natural homemakers.
- Give a woman a house and she will turn it into a home.
- Women are experts at ensuring things are running quite well in the house.
- Some women do find joy in these tasks of ensuring that their home and the family are all okay.
A working mom may not have the time or energy to keep up with what is required to keep a home, which is easier for a stay-at-home mom.
Read: Why Working Moms hate Work after Having Kids
2. Staying At Home offers a Chance to Care for the Babies
One of the main reasons why some working moms quit after having babies is their inability to let other people care for their children. Many can’t grasp the idea of leaving their children under the care of strangers, especially when they are so young.
As such they opt to be stay-at-home moms so that they can bring up their children. It is one reason that stay at home moms are happier and find it fulfilling than working.
- Such moms find joy in being there for the kids at the very minute of the hour than being in any office working.
- They get to share special moments, milestones, and memories which mean so much to a mom, making them happy.
A working mom on the other hand has so little and limited time with their babies, making them suffer from working mom guilt as they rarely have that quality time with the kids.
Emily, Stay-at-Home Mom:
“I chose to stay home because I wanted to be there for every milestone. It’s a tough job, and some days are exhausting, but the joy I get from being with my kids is irreplaceable. I feel like I’m building a strong foundation for their future, and that makes me incredibly happy.”
3. Offers Adequate Time for Personal Pursuits
While some days may be busier than others, stay-at-home moms generally have much more time on their hands than working moms.
- They have adequate time for personal pursuits such as hobbies, learning, and self-care among others.
- Stay at home moms become creative and enhance their skills in cooking, gardening, and crocheting, among others that working moms don’t have.
- They can even participate in community activities such as volunteering.
Further, they have enough time for adequate sleep, grooming, and spiritual nourishment among others which are important for women. As a result studies who that they are a whole lot happier than working moms.
Read: ParentHood and Wellbeing
How Women Define Happiness
There is no definite definition for happiness when it comes to this debate. The term becomes so relative and subjective as it depends on different contexts as well as what the women value most.
- Getting that which the moms value most is what will give them happiness whether while working or while staying at home with the kids.
- As such one woman will find happiness in being able to bring up their children while others will find happiness from getting recognized, appreciated, and valued at the workplace.
We are all equally moms and happy in our element, wherever that might be. SAHM is hard. Being a working mom is hard. Just raising children, is hard! Therefore happiness for a mother cannot be subjected to whether she is working or whether she is a stay-at-home home.
The notion that happiness can be easily categorized based on whether a mother works or stays at home overlooks the complexity of individual experiences.
Happiness is inherently subjective and is shaped by a many factors, such as:
- Personal Values: Each mother has unique values and priorities that influence her sense of fulfillment. For some, career achievements may bring joy, while others may find happiness in nurturing their children.
- Individual Circumstances: Factors such as financial stability, mental health, and life experiences significantly impact a mother’s happiness. These circumstances can vary widely and affect how each mother perceives her situation.
- Support Systems: The presence of a strong support system—whether from partners, family, or friends—plays a crucial role in a mother’s well-being. Support can alleviate stress and enhance overall happiness, regardless of employment status.
Research has consistently shown that both working and stay-at-home mothers greatly benefit from having strong support networks. These networks can include:
- Partners: A supportive partner can help share the responsibilities of parenting and household management, reducing stress and enhancing emotional well-being.
- Family: Extended family members can provide practical assistance and emotional support, creating a safety net that allows mothers to thrive in their roles.
- Community Resources: Access to community programs, childcare options, and social groups can alleviate feelings of isolation and provide valuable resources for mothers, regardless of their employment status.
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