To many women work is fun, fulfilling and gives them identity. It is also great for the money it brings in and the lifestyle it supports. However, we must acknowledge that some first time moms are working in jobs they hate but yet have to work for the much-needed money.
This also affects women who are actually in their dream jobs and have the best package one can get. There is just no satisfaction, sense of self-worth, sense of individualism, or pride in their work. But they still get up every day and do it for their families.
Most women do not necessarily start out like this in their first years of working. There was that passion, drive, and enthusiasm for work. But now not anymore! An expected trend is that this commonly happens to women after the babies come into the picture and everything about work changes.
It happened to me and i have to undergo a lot of changes at the workplace to re-love my work again.
So why does this happen? Is this happening to you? What can you do about it? How can you still love your job even after getting babies. You can redesign your job, swap your role, start your own job, change our employer among others
In this post…
How Working Moms Change after Getting Babies
How to Still Love your Job after Getting Babies
Why New Moms Hate Work after Getting Babies
1. Interest for First Time Moms Shifts from Work to Babies
Many women start working with a lot of enthusiasm, love their job, and even become workaholics. But once the kids arrive, it becomes pointless and they start hating their jobs.
Many starts with the ambition of going up the ladder built this focus changes once the baby arrives. The interest and focus automatically shift from work to the baby and many women can’t help it and hence leading to hating their jobs.
The main reason is because many working moms do feel that babies suffer when the mom returns to work. The baby encompasses our world and exploring the world with them becomes the number one priority. Work at that point takes a backseat and becomes the second priority.
Yes, the woman will continue working but it’s especially for the money, more so to sustain her and the baby. They prefer that time, interest and energy go to the baby instead of their jobs. As such there is more looking forward to going back to the baby in the evening than reporting for work.
Some women feel they just do not have as much mental space to dedicate to work problems anymore or staying motivated the entire time. Many moms may even get depressed over going back to work after maternity leave or going back to work at all.
2. Time for Work becomes Limited after Babies Come
Needleless to say, time is the most elusive thing for working moms. There is just not enough to get all things done in time. After babies come, moms are always rushing and frantically multitasking especially at home.
Without a proper balance, the baby will greatly suffer when the mom starts working again. The demands ends up being so draining and straining for the working moms such that they no longer have the energy to do extra at work.
As a result, they start caring less and less for their roles, projects, or promotions at the workplace. Meeting deadlines and taking up challenges no longer fires up the adrenaline. They don’t take anything challenging or exhausting anymore.
Work is great yes but some women feel that doing it 9 hours 5 days a week is too much and leaves too little time for other things. They only care for showing up, doing the needed basics, getting paid and going home. Some working moms choose to take a break as they can’t leave their babies to go back to work.
Read: How Moms can Set Time Apart for Me-Time
3. Poor Work-Life Balance as a New Mom
It’s hard leaving the baby to go back to work since balancing between work and family requires the woman to have adequate time and resources. It is only then can one to do all those things one wants to do besides work as one’s’ life should not revolve around work only.
There are some much to do, events to attend, places to go, people to meet, and talents to develop among others. But working, especially full time does not allow this kind of lifestyle for the moms. As a result many working moms end up hating their jobs.
Much of the time is taken up by office work and the little remaining is spent running family errands. Needless to say there is lesser or no time for personal needs or development. When the work-life balance sucks, it leads to resentment and hatred for work as many see it as what is keeping them from pursuing other life dreams.
Read: How Moms can Successfully Balance Career and Family
4. Work Gets Monotonous and Less Thrilling
The monotony of the work itself also makes most working moms lose interest in work and hate their jobs once the babies come. When you have been in the field for some time, everything takes the same routine.
Doing the same things over and over again eventually makes them uninteresting. For some moms, their jobs have reached this monotony and it is no longer interesting.
On the other hand, motherhood for new moms is always interesting. There are milestones to watch, memories to create, and new things to explore about your relationship with each other.
Slowly motherhood becomes more interesting and worth pursuing than working. Eventually, the mom ends up hating work but wakes up every morning to do it.
5. First-Time Moms Develop a Transactional Attitude
Truth be told getting a pay cheque at the end of every month is great. Many factors make people work, but it has to sustain you to be worthwhile. The fact that so many people, not just women are working on jobs they hate but have to because they need the money confirms this.
The transactional nature of work makes some women lose touch with it, especially post-baby. The personality of a woman towards work also changes; partly because babies and motherhood offer something more worthwhile, even if not financially.
In that light, it appears then that career and family are competing for each other and family wins some of the time. Other women feel the pay is not worth the time and effort they are putting into work.
The realization eventually hits when the new baby comes with all kinds of financial demands and the woman realizes she is working so hard for so little. In this case, it is easy to change the attitude and only do what is necessary to get paid.
Read: How a Small Children Gap Derails and Affects you Career
Guaranteed Secrets & Tips for New Moms to Love Job after Getting Babies
Is quitting an option for you? Maybe! If you have a working partner who can support your financial needs, then you may quit your job and stay at home. Also, you may save up enough to sustain yourself without having to work so that you can quit.
However, a majority of women don’t have this option. As such they must keep working even if they hate it.
But there is a downside related to working in a job or career you hate and hence its recommended to change things around that may bring the interest back into your work. The approach improves your overall outlook on things as well as making you a better mom and career woman.
1. Swap your Role/ Job Redesign
Maybe there is no fun and enthusiasm in doing the same thing over and over again. If your job is boring , one way to make it interesting as a new mom is by swapping roles.
It is one option you can go for if you feel your lack of interest in work is related to monotony. It is a very effective way of making your job exciting again such that you look forward to it.
For instance, you can change from working in sales and change to production in your company. The new role, coworkers, environment, and functions will make you love working again and look forward to working every day.
Alternatively, you can have your job position redesigned. This will also change most of what you do or how you do them to eliminate the boredom and monotony. You may find that this all your career needed to make it into what it was before the baby arrived. You will re-love working again.
Read: Top Careers and Employers who are Mom/Family Friendly
2. Start your Own Business in a Field you Love
Starting your own business is another option you may go for if you find out you hate your job after getting kids. Look at all aspects of your job, what you hate about it now that you are a new mom and the possibility on improving on these things.
It may not necessarily be in terms of the pay you get but the role that you have, how fulfilling it is and the work environment. If you feel you no longer enjoy being employed or that you are not getting quite enough from your job, then this option is the best path for you.
The desire for work and working for your business fits this space perfectly. Doing it for your own business makes you more committed and dedicated to working that you will love it and be passionate about it. You will enjoy working again.
Read: A Guide on Quitting your Job and Starting your Own Business
3. Take a Career Change or Career Break
Working as a mother is very draining and exhausting. If you work for a long stretch of years, you will reach a point of feeling you have given it your all and there is no more interest to pursue anything work-related.
In such cases, try a career change. It can be your turnaround and you find working enjoyable and fulfilling as a working mom.
Start looking for work in a different career. You will need to equip yourself with the new skills relevant to the new career. However, you will find that it is worthwhile as enthusiasm and love for work returns.
Alternatively, you can take a career break, say two-three years. While at it try to find yourself again and what you are looking for in a job now that you are a ne mom. You can go back to work after you feel you’re ready again to give your job the necessary attention and interest.
Read: How to Come Back Successfully from a Career Break
4. Choose Remote Work/Part Time to Retain Interest in your Job
Many moms fear feeling disconnected from the baby after returning to work and hence finding a work-life balance is important. The lack of it will lead to hating your job .
It’s easier to trade your job just so you can have time with your kids than otherwise. So if this is your situation, see if working remotely or part-time is an option you can take.
The two options give you more flexibility in work and also more control over your personal life such as the time with your family. Once the much-needed balance is restored, you will find your interest in work is restored too.
Read: How to Go from Full Time to Working Part Time
5. Switch Employers after Getting Babies
Sometimes the problem is not your job but your employer. The company and its environments such as coworkers and systems can make jobs too hard to love. Employers sometimes are so unsupportive of working moms that moms end up resenting them.
If you think your situation is more related to your employer than your job, then consider switching employers. Research around for more family-friendly employers and move.
Read: Top Careers and Employers who are Mom/Family Friendly
Secrets on How to Love being a Working Mom
- Change your attitude- Often a negative attitude towards your new status as a working mom is a major hindrance. You need to be optimistic about your career and your future.
- Find a supportive circle at work. Most moms at your workplace underwent the same shift. You need to surround yourself with such people as you can gain a lot of support and advice on how you can navigate this.
- Work on improving your performance if it has been affected. Often you will find that your waning interest in work and the hatred attitude has affected your performance. Map out a new plan on how to get your performance back on track so that you do not lose your job.
- Start out by creating new work targets and breaking them down into tasks. Create daily achievable tasks that you can track your progress on
- Celebrate wins and regularly check where you need to change a tactic or improve
- Be purposeful about enjoying you job again even after getting kids.
- Be intentional about celebrating smalls wins and looking at the positive side of this new change.
- Develop new ways to make your job more exciting and interesting. It can range from anything such as making new friends, changing your office outfit, redesigning a different work process among others. These small changes will help you enjoy working again.
- Improve your office outlook. A face lift of your work environment can change a lot within you.
Last Word
Do not feel guilt about these new feelings. As a new mom, you are dealing with a lot of changes in your status before you had kids and now that you are working mom.
Often it appears that you are more concerned and love your kids than your kids. However do not feel any guilt for this. Your kids needs this love and being your newest source of joy is not something for you to feel guilt about.
What you need to learn is how to balance working and parenting. Both are your identities and you can manage to switch between both identities and enjoy a more fulfilling life.
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